Dear Ambiguous Diety

I am no longer sure who I am talking to up there, but I hope You don’t take offense to that.  I’m still sure You exist, or I wouldn’t be talking to You before bed every night, I’m just not sure who You are.

That’s probably not news to You, though.  Or a surprise.  I bet You go through this conversation with every one of Your believers at some point.  I mean, everyone is a doubting kid or teenager sometime, right?  Or adult.  Adults are not above indecision and confusion, after all, even though they like to hide it.

So far, I’ve talked to everyone I can think of to try and figure out what I think now, except You.  So, here I am, Sir, but don’t think it’s because You were the last one I wanted to consult.  I just wanted to try to be sure I knew what I was talking about when I brought it up.

Not that I really do, still.  Everyone had something different to say.  Especially the adults.  Only one of them really acted like they don’t know the answer, and that was Mom.  I appreciate her honesty.  In the defense of the rest, though, they probably didn’t know they were lying to themselves and me.

I guess I decided that the mistake is mostly on our side, not Yours.  You set the rules down, then let us enforce them, so I guess that was Your mistake.  People can’t handle it, you know.  We’re very immature.  That’s when little kids tell their friends they’re going to Hell without even knowing what it means.

I don’t really blame You.  I’ve read enough to know that once people figured out what You were trying to say, Your wishes were pretty clear.  We just aren’t carrying them out anymore.  I just started noticing that the book that names You isn’t the only one that makes sense.  In fact, a lot of others make a great deal of sense, maybe even more sometimes when taking into account the entire Bible, not just the parts we talk about the most these days.

Well, I should probably get to bed.  Good night, God, Buddha, Vishnu, Zeus, Odin, Universe, or whoever You are.